Difference between pages "ClsXlca2016Diversity" and "ClsXlca2016Communication"

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== Diversity ==
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== Topic title ==
What's a short, shareable title for your discussion topic?
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Communication, including NVC / PNDC
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NVC = Non violent communication
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PNDC - Powerful non-defensive communication
  
 
== Introductions  ==
 
== Introductions  ==
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== Notes ==
 
== Notes ==
Diversity of what? hard to define...
 
  
Things seen recently
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You can be just as violent through words as you can be through physical action.
* People from tech schools
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There are ways to communicate that are non violent and will take people along instead.
* Latin & Central America
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Get your point across in a way that does not belittle anyone, leading to a productive discussion.
  
Example Event
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=== Non violent communication (NVC) ===
* Target lower decile schools
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* Encourage student from the schools to get involved
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* Use Minecraft as platform for getting people involved
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* Start with ~140, 99 finished
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* Lots of prizes for the students
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* Focus on the people who might not have the opportunities in the world to do it
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=== What are we doing well? ===
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NVC - 4 part approach: observation, feelings, needs and requests <br>
Lots of discussions start on what is broken. Instead, lets start on what is working well - tap into approaches that are doing good things
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Instead of going in looking for a fight: observe what is happening, state your feelings about what is happening, then your needs and finally make a request.
  
Conferences
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Trying to put this into action gets a lot of different reactions. Some people have empathy for you, but don't expect this.
* Get students and volunteers in to the conferences
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* Assign a person to look after the students and volunteers
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* Start seeing the students again at later conferences, which is great to see
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GovHack & Health Hack
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Book to read - Non Violent Communication, by Marshall B Rosenberg
* Free childcare
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* Get a lot more people involved, makes it feel more family friendly, less techy
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Make it affordable for people to attend events (eg. lower cost for students to attend)
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If you are in a debate, intellectually trying to understand everything before you respond is worthwhile. Don't base your response on uninformed opinions.
  
Financial aid
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Illogical turing test - Explaining the position of someone you are opposed to so well will make it harder for them works well.
* Advertise program to everyone, no preconceptions on where money will go
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Invite people to come to groups, conferences (personal email, etc). Targeting wide communities does not really work.
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When there is a negative, rather than getting angry, make an observation to the person who caused the negative and go from there. Make a request rathen than demanding something happen - it effects change more readily.
"Welcome humans" - no gender, entirely inclusive
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Projects where diversity is supported from the top down have a better success rate
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Don't get defensive when someone complains about you. Instead, accept it and take it on board.
  
Papers committee for conferences
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It is not someone's job to police and correct your behaviour, but it is great to have someone point things out.
* Committee lacks diversity
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* Need to reach out to different groups that are under-represented
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Get feedback when your talk/whatever is rejected, so you know what to improve on next time
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Really good to have excellent mentors for this. If you find someone else who communicates really well and makes people enjoy being around them, then hang around with them and soak up what they do.
* System from other conference (GraceHopper) - Mandatory feedback on review of papers. Do not allow talks to be rejected without a reason, so there is always feedback. Also ensures reviewers have actually read the submission.
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Dr David Ruck - The SCARF Model
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Communication across language and cultural barriers - employ these techniques would help out immensely.
5 Attributes
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* Status - important to know where we fit in a group
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* Certainty - uncertainty freaks out people
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* Autonomy - people like choice, so giving choice lets people feel like they have some power
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* Relatedness - break into groups
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* Fairness - want fairness in other people not just ourselves
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Have people at events to buddy up with people, so they have a person to talk to, show them around, etc. Makes it much less scary for people to get involved.
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Self education is a big part of this. It might be a slow change, but it will happen in the long term with people helping to point things out to you.
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Unconscious bias is something we need to work on.
  
Make everyone feel welcome. People are shy, so make a point of finding that person and talk to them. Don't point out they are standing alone, just talk to them and make them feel welcome.
 
  
A way to make hackathons better with diversity: Require teams to have a diversity of skill sets.
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=== Powerful non-defensive communication (PNDC) ===
Marketing vs Programming have widely varying levels of men vs women. By doing it on skill set, you don't get a more natural balance instead of 'forced' team structures.
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Be calm when talking to people about language they might be using that is not appropriate. It hopefully leads to more people realising what the problem is.
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----
  
Need more people at hackathons - people expect that means you need more developers. That is not necessarily the case - you need lots of skills.
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An intro to PNDC
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(Have a look at [http://pndc.com/ pndc.com] for more resources)
  
Make the diversity stand out without having to point it out - have people front of house at conferences, etc
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When someone says something to offend us, we become defensive. Get into power struggles.
  
Encouraging girls to get involved in technology. Younger girls are being targeted for involvement so they can stay involved for a long time.
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We have six defensive reactions
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# Surrender betray
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# Surrender sabotage
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# Withdrawal, escape - don't want to talk to someone about something we don't want to discuss
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# Withdraw, entrap - intentionally withhold information from someone to entrap someone into making them look bad
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# Counterattack, justify - eg. I'm really busy, would have got it done
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# Counterattack, blame - instead of blaming someone else, look at your own part in the problem
  
BuzzConf - family friendly event. Get everyone involved in the technology. Families commented that it was great to see other families getting involved together. Not all just about kids.
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Strategies
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# Ask questions
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# Make statements
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# Predict consequences
  
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----
  
=== Dilemas ===
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Important to champion it, but be aware when language becomes a weapon.
  
To what extent do we celebrate/highlight/etc diversity in events?
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Very easy to avoid topics that are hard to discuss.
* Do we have an award for "Best Women's team" - resounding NO
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Do not let the urgent drown out the important.
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Set aside a time (weekly, monthly) to think and talk about difficult topics to discuss.
  
Overemphasis of inclusive language, etc can actually be harmful - may actually start excluding people. Need to work on language barriers. Intent on language instead of the word used.
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Need to recognise when a problem is being deferred.
  
Can find that the people you think would be least likely to be inclusive are actually the champions
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Book: The seven habits of highly effective people, by Stephen R. Covey
  
Age is an issue. Lots of coding for kids going on, but what about including people, for example, whose industries are going away and would like to learn about software.
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It would be great to develop resources around all of this to distribute around the community.
  
Things have not entirely improved for kids - many classes are still male dominated. <br>
 
eg. Boy said girl was 'too stupid for this' when she was having issues with the programming He was told by instructor to not take the mouse and let her do it, which had a good result in the end because he congratulated her when she got it working.
 
  
Making an exit plan for the community - have a plan in place to get a more diverse range of people into leadership positions within projects and communities by including them in the plan for when you leave a community - they replace you.
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=== Other ===
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What is a good way to get through tough times, dealing with tough people?
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* When things get too toxic, there is a choice to exit. You will quickly hear from lots of people who have nearly exited or actually done so.
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** Downside: you have exited.
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** Upside: Exiting can be the healthiest choice.
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* If you can have a facilitator around, that will be very useful.
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Hard to apply this to twitter, because you have limited chars.
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* Repeating back as a question can work well
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* Wait a bit before replying - calm down a bit first
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Build connections with a person before you start discussing things, because it puts you as a person instead of an email address/twitter handle.
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You are likely to influence your immediate circle, so try to effect change locally and hope that it will spread.
  
Lets find a way to measure it - we did these things, and it had this effect. Makes people realise that we can actually effect change in a community.
 
  
 
== Resources ==
 
== Resources ==
Any key resources shared or created during the discussion - list them here. eg links, books, people, organisations, etc.
 
  
== Actions, next steps or key takeaways ==
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Book: Non Violent Communication, by Marshall B Rosenberg
  
Think about diversity in a more diverse manner. Need to appreciate difference and take that into your world.
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Website: [http://pndc.com Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication]
  
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Book: The seven habits of highly effective people, by Stephen R. Covey
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Book: Dealing with Disrespect, by Jono Bacon ([http://dealingwithdisrespect.com dealingwithdisrespect.com])
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People get out of communities because of problems they are having to deal with, so this is an approach that may help.
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== Actions, next steps or key takeaways ==
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It's all very well to talk, but what will we do next, or what key or new ideas will we be taking away from this discussion?
  
 
[[Category: CLSXLCA]]
 
[[Category: CLSXLCA]]

Latest revision as of 11:46, 14 February 2016

Topic title

Communication, including NVC / PNDC

NVC = Non violent communication

PNDC - Powerful non-defensive communication

Introductions

Who is here? Recording this is optional - anonymity and privacy is sometimes more important when sensitive issues are being explored.

Name, community, role eg. Donna, Drupal, community working group chair.

Notes

You can be just as violent through words as you can be through physical action. There are ways to communicate that are non violent and will take people along instead. Get your point across in a way that does not belittle anyone, leading to a productive discussion.

Non violent communication (NVC)

NVC - 4 part approach: observation, feelings, needs and requests
Instead of going in looking for a fight: observe what is happening, state your feelings about what is happening, then your needs and finally make a request.

Trying to put this into action gets a lot of different reactions. Some people have empathy for you, but don't expect this.

Book to read - Non Violent Communication, by Marshall B Rosenberg

If you are in a debate, intellectually trying to understand everything before you respond is worthwhile. Don't base your response on uninformed opinions.

Illogical turing test - Explaining the position of someone you are opposed to so well will make it harder for them works well.

When there is a negative, rather than getting angry, make an observation to the person who caused the negative and go from there. Make a request rathen than demanding something happen - it effects change more readily.

Don't get defensive when someone complains about you. Instead, accept it and take it on board.

It is not someone's job to police and correct your behaviour, but it is great to have someone point things out.

Really good to have excellent mentors for this. If you find someone else who communicates really well and makes people enjoy being around them, then hang around with them and soak up what they do.

Communication across language and cultural barriers - employ these techniques would help out immensely.

Self education is a big part of this. It might be a slow change, but it will happen in the long term with people helping to point things out to you. Unconscious bias is something we need to work on.


Powerful non-defensive communication (PNDC)


An intro to PNDC (Have a look at pndc.com for more resources)

When someone says something to offend us, we become defensive. Get into power struggles.

We have six defensive reactions

  1. Surrender betray
  2. Surrender sabotage
  3. Withdrawal, escape - don't want to talk to someone about something we don't want to discuss
  4. Withdraw, entrap - intentionally withhold information from someone to entrap someone into making them look bad
  5. Counterattack, justify - eg. I'm really busy, would have got it done
  6. Counterattack, blame - instead of blaming someone else, look at your own part in the problem

Strategies

  1. Ask questions
  2. Make statements
  3. Predict consequences

Important to champion it, but be aware when language becomes a weapon.

Very easy to avoid topics that are hard to discuss. Do not let the urgent drown out the important. Set aside a time (weekly, monthly) to think and talk about difficult topics to discuss.

Need to recognise when a problem is being deferred.

Book: The seven habits of highly effective people, by Stephen R. Covey

It would be great to develop resources around all of this to distribute around the community.


Other

What is a good way to get through tough times, dealing with tough people?

  • When things get too toxic, there is a choice to exit. You will quickly hear from lots of people who have nearly exited or actually done so.
    • Downside: you have exited.
    • Upside: Exiting can be the healthiest choice.
  • If you can have a facilitator around, that will be very useful.

Hard to apply this to twitter, because you have limited chars.

  • Repeating back as a question can work well
  • Wait a bit before replying - calm down a bit first

Build connections with a person before you start discussing things, because it puts you as a person instead of an email address/twitter handle.

You are likely to influence your immediate circle, so try to effect change locally and hope that it will spread.


Resources

Book: Non Violent Communication, by Marshall B Rosenberg

Website: Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication

Book: The seven habits of highly effective people, by Stephen R. Covey

Book: Dealing with Disrespect, by Jono Bacon (dealingwithdisrespect.com) People get out of communities because of problems they are having to deal with, so this is an approach that may help.

Actions, next steps or key takeaways

It's all very well to talk, but what will we do next, or what key or new ideas will we be taking away from this discussion?